NPC Airlines Announces 'Groupthink'—The World's Most Conformist Loyalty Program

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NPC Airlines Launches 'Groupthink' Loyalty Program to Eliminate Individual Flight Preferences. NPC Airlines is proud to announce the rollout of Groupthink, the world's first loyalty program that actively devalues individual choices in favor of collective compliance.

How the Program Works:Passengers do not earn individual points. Instead, points are pooled into a massive, centralized collective fund. If any single passenger complains, asks a question, or requests an extra napkin, the entire cabin is downgraded immediately.

New Tier Structure:

[The Consensus Tier] The entry-level status where your seat selection is automatically overridden by whatever the majority of the plane voted for.

[Echo Chamber Elite] Unlocks access to our specialized lounges, where all TVs play the same news loop and everyone repeats the exact same talking points.

[Hivemind Platinum] The absolute peak of conformity. Members receive a complimentary grey track suit complete with NPC Airlines logo and are permitted to nod in unison with the flight crew. If any nodding is out of sync then the airline reserves the right to remove the tier assignment.

"We want our passengers to stop thinking as 'me' and start complying as 'we'," said a generic corporate spokesperson. "With Groupthink, you no longer have to worry about your own travel comfort. The crowd has already decided it for you."TERMS AND CONDITIONS:-- Section 1.1: Independent thinking during turbulence is strictly prohibited. Passengers must panic collectively or not at all.-- Section 2.4: Side-eyeing the standard-issue airline snack will result in an immediate lifestyle points deduction.-- Section 3.7: NPC Airlines reserves the right to change your destination mid-flight if the global narrative shifts.