Goosewings Service to Paris!!!

[Coprolite]

In the midst of an episode of CBC's "The Beachcombers", another low production values commercial for Goosewings appears. The CEO of Goosewings, Tim Timmerson's colour balance seems rather off, but that might be because his leisure suit is of a hue of pea soup green that objectively should not exist, and is challenging the cameras and 1970's vintage colour TV tubes resulting in disconcerting colour bleeds. Many geese mill about at his feet, honking ways that are fairly sedate for geese. He also curiously wears a beret and wields a preposterously long baguette. The latter is of great interest to the geese, while the former is not. "Minor Swing" by Reinhardt and Grappelli starts to play. Timmerson seems visibly excited.

"Goosewings, Canada's OTHER airline, is going to PARIS."

He pauses for a beat, even the geese seem confused.

"OF THE PRAIRIES!" He tosses aside his beret, and the baguette, which is instantly set upon by geese. The music terminates with an abrupt record scratch. The green-screen behind him shifts from the Goosewings logo to an aerial view of... Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, with large blue letters at the bottom flashing, "NOT AFFILIATED WITH PARIS FRANCE".

"YES! Expect more flights to the cultural capital of Western Canada, Saska," he pauses to inhale deeply, "TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

The commercial fades amid a chorus of goose honks to the Goosewings logo, reiterating their slogan, "Canada's OTHER airline."