I leave you to... your Goosey fate

[Coprolite]

For better or worse, Goosewings has doubled down on its "Canada's OTHER Airline" campaign, and new route announcements have been appearing on billboards mentioned in oddly timed radio ads. Billboards feature a vaguely menacing goose lifting a miniature hockey stick in its beak and advertise various destinations like:

Abbotsford: It's ALMOST Vancouver
Hamilton: Toronto's Smoking Section
Regina: Enough Said
And of course, Winnipeg, "Canada's Largest City Between Vancouver and Toronto... FOR NOW"

A new route to Miami, Florida even merits TV ads. Curiously, they are shot as if they speak to a Miami audience, and feature the airline's CEO Tim Timmerson dancing extremely awkwardly to disco music in front of an extremely cheap backdrop of Miami Beach while a Canada goose pecks viciously at his bell bottom trousers, "Hey Miami! Do you ever get tired of sun, beaches, culture, recreational drugs, beautiful people, and circulation to your extremities? Why not visit WINNIPEG, where the air hurts your face." It concludes by cutting to a scene of cars struggling through the intersection of Portage and Main as a vicious March blizzard cuts visibility to a desolate grey.