Air Riga Jets Into 1966

[Cardinal]

Air Riga is announcing our new glorious jet service to select Soviet cities aboard our wonderful new fleet provided by the Boryspil Aircraft Company. Our new BAC 1-11 are Number One three times! Three times better than your number ones. And we definitely acquired them from the glorious Soviet town of Boryspil. We have been assured that they bear no resemblance to the rumored western garbage scow allegedly being built by the English. You can tell by the Soviet flag painted on them!

Jet service began on the first of January of the new year. Our new jets will fly throughout the USSR. Except to our home of Riga. Local officials in Riga will not allow us to fly these wonderful new jets with passengers aboard from the tiny strip of asphalt at Spilve, despite our pilots' assurances that they probably wouldn't hit more than one or two nearby homes during takeoff. We have discussed the possibility of enlarging the airfield at Spilve, including sending bribes to Moscow, but the aviation authorities continue to inform us of their impending decision to build a new airport for the citizens of Riga. In fact, they have been informing us of this imminent decision for more than ten years, so they must be working very hard on it and we expect them to continue to accept our bribes for at least six or seven more years before coming to a decision that will surely have been worth the wait. In the meantime, our wonderful new jets will happily ferry Soviet citizens all around the USSR where appropriate runways exist.