Oh no...

[Coprolite]

It's 10:38 pm on a frosty June night in Edmonton, Alberta when this commercial airs. Despite the black and white image (even for those with colour TV's, it's still monochrome, because colour costs money), the commercial features a man in what is obviously an extremely loud suit standing at an airport that appears to be largely leftovers from World War 2 and in various states of disrepair. A small plane is taxiing in the background. The man, for whatever reason, is holding a Canada goose under one arm. The goose, meanwhile, has seized the cuff of his suit jacket in its beak, and is obviously struggling.

"HI!" he announces in a loud, nasal voice, "I AM TIM TIMMERSON AND THIS IS MY GOOSE, TABITHA! HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO FLY LIKE A MAJESTIC GOOSE? ARE YOU IN EDMONTON? WELL DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU! WE ARE LAUNCHING OUR NEW AIRLINE GOOSE WINGS FROM THE OLD AIRPORT ON KINGSWAY JUST AS SOON AS OUR PLANES ARRIVE! WE ARE NOT SURE WHERE YET, BUT POSSIBLE DESTINATIONS INCLUDE GRANDE PRAIRIE, FORT MACMURRAY AND RED-EYE SERVICE TO SASKATOON!" Timmerson pronounces the latter with at least six O's.

The taxiing plane draws nearer, the noise of its engine starting to drown out Timmerson as he keeps talking, until Tabitha escapes restraint and launches herself at the camera with a honk-hiss, knocking it over on its side.

"BE A SILLY GOOSE! FLY GOOSE WINGS!" implores Timmerson as he leans into the field of view, his face right in front of the camera, his hair unmussed through the use of a drum of pomade. The camera cuts out, and the last two seconds of the commercial are dead air.