A Message from the CEO of Executive Express
Concorde and Tu-144 Supersonic Services Officially Retired (Again)
To our valued passengers, aviation enthusiasts, accountants, and the handful of engineers who still insisted the Tu-144 was "almost ready,"
It is with profound disappointment—and an even greater sense of financial self-preservation—that Executive Express, in partnership with our friends at Bober 67, announces the cancellation of all planned supersonic services operated by **Concorde** and the **Tu-144**.
When we first unveiled our vision, we promised to bring the romance of supersonic travel back to the skies. We imagined champagne at Mach 2, breakfast in New York, lunch in London, and arriving before your luggage realised it had departed.
Unfortunately, reality arrived first.
After months of careful analysis, our finance department presented us with several alarming findings:
* Restoring Concorde to service would cost approximately the GDP of a small island nation.
* Returning the Tu-144 to flying condition required locating replacement parts that apparently exist only in forgotten Soviet warehouses and the occasional museum gift shop.
* Fuel consumption was measured not in litres per hour, but in "bank transfers per minute."
* Insurance companies responded to our proposal by laughing uncontrollably before politely declining to return our calls.
* One engineer requested therapy after reading the maintenance manuals.
The final meeting lasted just twelve minutes.
The engineering team said, "Technically... it's possible."
The finance team replied, "Technically... no."
The decision was unanimous.
While we are saddened that this extraordinary chapter has come to an end, we remain committed to offering the finest private aviation experience available—just at speeds that don't require a second mortgage every time the throttles are advanced.
Passengers who had booked our Supersonic Collection will be automatically rebooked onto our modern fleet, where they can continue to enjoy exceptional service, handcrafted dining, and significantly lower chances of causing our Chief Financial Officer to faint.
I'd also like to thank our partners at Bober 67, whose optimism throughout this project was nothing short of inspirational. Their accountants, meanwhile, have requested complete anonymity and several months of paid leave.
To everyone who believed in this dream, thank you.
To everyone who bought Executive Express shares immediately after we announced Concorde's return... we're sorry.
And to the person who suggested reviving the Boeing 2707 next...
Please stop emailing us.
The future of Executive Express remains bright, luxurious, and—most importantly—profitable.
Thank you for flying with us.
*"Because arriving in style is wonderful. Arriving solvent is even better."*