THE 67XX ERA BEGINS: BOBER 6-7 ANNOUNCES SUPERSONIC ROUTESBuenos Aires, Argentina — After ten years of operations, several months of engineering work, and the complete disappearance of the airline's accumulated cash reserves, Bober 6-7 is pleased to announce the official launch schedule for the returning
Supersonic Bober.
The Concorde has already left long-term storage and successfully completed both its
C check and D check.
Yes.
The aircraft is maintained.
No.
Finance has not recovered.
The most expensive work is complete, and the Concorde is now undergoing final crew preparation, operational testing, catering trials, polishing, and repeated confirmation that all four Olympus engines remain attached.
Commercial service is scheduled to begin in
June 2006.
The Supersonic Bober will carry exactly
67 passengers and operate six days each week to six destinations using twelve special flight numbers beginning with
67.
Not 66.
Not 69.
67.Because 6-7 is not merely a number.
It is the airline's identity, corporate strategy, maintenance philosophy, and preferred answer during financial audits.
THE SUPERSONIC BOBER SCHEDULEAll departure and arrival times are local.
MONDAY — NEW YORK–JFKLP6701 — Buenos Aires EZE 12:30 → New York JFK 17:30
Technical stop in Caracas
LP6702 — New York JFK 21:00 → Buenos Aires EZE 06:00
Technical stop in Caracas
New York will receive Bober before dinner.
Buenos Aires will receive the passengers back before breakfast, although their bodies, watches, and understanding of time may disagree.
TUESDAY — CARACASLP6703 — Buenos Aires EZE 11:30 → Caracas CCS 13:55
LP6704 — Caracas CCS 18:30 → Buenos Aires EZE 22:55
Caracas was one of the first destinations served during Bober's original Concorde operations.
The route now returns because passengers remembered it, history demanded it, and the aircraft already knows where Caracas keeps the fuel trucks.
WEDNESDAY — LOS ANGELESLP6705 — Buenos Aires EZE 12:15 → Los Angeles LAX 15:10
Technical stop in Bogotá
LP6706 — Los Angeles LAX 19:00 → Buenos Aires EZE 07:40
Technical stop in Quito
Los Angeles will finally experience Argentine Bober at supersonic speed.
The outbound service stops in Bogotá. The return service stops in Quito.
This is not confusion.
It is advanced South American route planning.
Passengers are advised not to question it unless they are prepared to attend the full presentation, which includes seven maps, six explanations, and no final answer.
THURSDAY — BOGOTÁLP6707 — Buenos Aires EZE 12:00 → Bogotá BOG 13:15
LP6708 — Bogotá BOG 17:30 → Buenos Aires EZE 22:45
Bogotá was another of the Concorde's earliest Bober destinations and now returns with the full dignity of 67 seats, four Olympus engines, and absolutely no concern for the fuel forecast.
FRIDAY — QUITOLP6709 — Buenos Aires EZE 12:00 → Quito UIO 13:00
LP6710 — Quito UIO 17:30 → Buenos Aires EZE 22:35
Quito was selected because it is already high in the Andes, placing the airport closer to the sky and therefore saving valuable climbing time.
Engineering has again asked management to stop explaining aviation.
SATURDAY — LIMALP6711 — Buenos Aires EZE 10:00 → Lima LIM 10:30
LP6712 — Lima LIM 18:00 → Buenos Aires EZE 22:30
Lima was also part of Bober's original Concorde history.
The aircraft will return carrying 67 passengers, Argentine steak, several bottles of Malbec, and the confidence of an airline that has already spent all the money and therefore has nothing left to fear.
WHY DO MOST FLIGHTS LEAVE LATE IN THE MORNING OR AROUND LUNCH?Management studied the possibility of early-morning departures.
The pilots studied the possibility of resigning.
Bober crews require adequate time to arrive, drink enough coffee, argue about football, locate the correct aircraft, and transform themselves into people capable of responsibly operating a supersonic airliner.
Management determined that this transformation is generally complete by approximately 11:30.
Passengers are therefore advised that late morning is the earliest safe period in which a Bober pilot can reliably distinguish the aircraft checklist from the lunch menu.
Caracas departs at 11:30 because the pilots agreed that Venezuela was worth waking up slightly earlier.
The Saturday flight to Lima leaves at 10:00 because Lima insisted.
The pilots have filed a formal complaint and requested additional coffee.
SUNDAY — THE SEVENTH DAYThere will be no scheduled Concorde service on Sunday.
Sunday is reserved for:
Maintenance.
Inspection.
Prayer.
Additional maintenance.
Asking the engineers what that noise was.
Allowing the pilots to recover from six consecutive days of arriving before lunch.
Giving the Concorde one full day to decide whether it wishes to continue participating.
On the seventh day, Bober rests.
The mechanics do not.
Although the C and D checks have been completed, Sunday inspections will continue according to the finest traditions of South American aircraft maintenance: carefully, creatively, and with several pilots standing nearby praying that Monday's New York service actually leaves.
The aircraft is ready.
The prayers are precautionary.
A RETURN TO BOBER HISTORYCaracas, Bogotá, and Lima were among the earliest destinations served during the Concorde's original career with Bober 6-7.
They were there before the storage years.
They were there before Accounting learned that changing spreadsheet text from red to green could improve management morale.
They were there before any other airline became brave enough to describe supersonic aviation as a reasonable business plan.
Now they return alongside New York, Los Angeles, and Quito to form the first six-route Supersonic Bober network.
When asked why only six destinations had been announced, management replied:
"Six routes are flying. Seven is a state of mind."BOBER RESPONDS TO EXECUTIVE EXPRESSBober 6-7 welcomes Executive Express and its decision to operate both Concorde and the Tupolev Tu-144.
After reviewing the announcement, Bober management issued the following statement:
"Finally, another airline has made a financial decision stupid enough to earn our respect."Discussions regarding the proposed Supersonic Americas Alliance may continue, provided Executive Express supplies Caribbean hospitality, Bober supplies Argentine steak, and neither airline allows the other to see its complete maintenance invoices.
When asked whether Executive Express operating both Concorde and Tu-144 represented a serious competitive threat, management replied:
"No. It represents friendship through shared financial suffering."Note to travel agents: Flights LP6701 through LP6712 are scheduled to begin in June 2006. The Concorde has already left storage and completed its C and D checks. Final preparations include crew training, operational testing, loading the 67-seat catering service, stocking the Supersonic Bober Bite cocktail, sharpening the wooden chewing straws, and ensuring the pilots remember which lever makes it go Mach 2.
BOBER 6-7: six destinations, seven days, 67 seats, and one fully maintained financial crisis with afterburners.