FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
May 28, 2023 We are proud to to announce the hiring of our 100,000th employee, marking a major milestone in our mission to connect people, places, and in‑flight snack options across the globe.
The lucky new hire, baggage handler Pat O'Luggage, was greeted with balloons, applause, and a complimentary upgrade to "Economy Plus-ish" for life.
"This is a huge achievement for our airline," said CEO Bree Jetson. "We now have enough staff to form a small city, or at least a very large conga line down the runway."
Meanwhile, CFO Gerald "Numbers" McLedger has reportedly not slept in 31 days. "I'm thrilled for the company," he said, blinking at three different reporters at once. "But every time we hire someone, I see another decimal point in my nightmares." He was perturbed as to why we were hiring Irish sounding baggage handlers when we have a billion or so locals to do the job.
To celebrate, We are offering a one‑day sale: 100,000 seats for €100 each — plus the usual fees, taxes, and a mysterious "chair usage surcharge" we're still workshopping. Oh, and a further $2m off our Embraer 170s lease prices.
About Sichuan:
Founded on the belief that flying should be both affordable and mildly confusing, we now serve over 300 destinations, most of which are spelled correctly on our tickets.
Media Contact:
press@sichuan.com
(Please allow 4–6 business days for a reply; our PR team is still recovering from the cake.)