MUNICH, WEST GERMANY — After previous denials, FlightClub has confirmed its current valuation of –$5.6 million, describing the figure as "an exciting financial inflection point" and a rare opportunity to "lead the industry from the bottom."
"Some companies offer stock options as a perk," said CEO Dieter 'The Elbow' Braun. "We've gone further. The stock options held by our executives are now so deeply underwater that our leadership team technically owes money back to the company. It's what we call accountability through indebtedness." Braun stated that approximately 15% of the company's revenue last quarter came from such underwater stock options.
FlightClub has also begun issuing equity-based compensation to line employees. Under the current structure, cabin crew and ground staff are granted restricted shares that carry a nominal fee, payable back to FlightClub upon vesting. "It's innovative," Braun noted. "They get equity, and we get liquidity, eventually. Probably." Braun dismissed rumors that nearly every employee class at FlightClub were threatening to strike.
Despite its negative market capitalization, Flight Club remains fully operational, delivering passenger and freight services across West Germany. Braun emphasized that a negative valuation simplifies the company's forward guidance: "We no longer need to worry about losing shareholder value. There's none left to lose."
Following three consecutive weeks of trading at negative share prices, FlightClub stock was delisted from the German stock exchange and is now traded exclusively at an underground casino outside Munich operated by a man named Rolf, where it is exchanged for chips, cigarettes, unmarked bills, or any asset not traceable or recorded by customs.
While analysts initially struggled to categorize Flight Club's valuation, some have begun to recognize it as a potential inflection point in modern equity theory. "We've never seen a company's stock trade below zero," said Martin Krüger, a professor of finance at the Technical University of Munich. "The working theory is that shareholders may now carry contingent liability due to the company's unusual combination of debt exposure, operational negligence, and creative accounting. In effect, holding FlightClub stock could imply partial responsibility."
When asked to respond, Braun was characteristically upbeat. "Most companies give shareholders a stake. We've given them a burden. It's bold, it's disruptive, and it really weeds out the casual investor."
As of press time, FlightClub stock was trading at DM -2.80.
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