Fort Lauderdale, FL — 1961 — USLink, under the fearless command of CEO LkMsWb, has launched its newest base at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. In just 72 hours, the station has logged more wildlife wrangling, moonshine-related incidents, and shirtless fistfights than all other bases combined.
"Our first flight hadn't even boarded when a man tried to load a live pig into the baggage compartment, claiming it was his co-pilot," said LkMsWb, still wiping raccoon scratches from his face.
Opening week highlights include:
A F.27 departure delayed by a fisherman reeling in a tarpon... from Gate 3.
Ramp crew forced to remove three alligators sunbathing on the runway — one wearing sunglasses.
A man attempting to sell moonshine to passengers during boarding.
An air hostess chased through the cabin by a loose rooster wearing a tiny straw hat.
Flight 1227 to Tallahassee returned after a passenger began skinning a catfish in Row 7.
Two locals trying to siphon avgas from a parked Convair "to power a speedboat race."
Ground staff discovering a possum in the captain's flight bag. No one claimed it.
Fueling operations were also disrupted when a gentleman pulled up to the aircraft in a swamp boat, demanded "top off the tank," and got into an argument when told it was not a gas station.
Despite all this, LkMsWb remains upbeat: "Florida is unpredictable, wild, and clearly armed with teeth — but the revenue's fantastic. If we can dodge the gators and survive the mosquitoes, we'll thrive here."
USLink: If it flies in Florida, it can fly anywhere.(https://i.postimg.cc/6q6FWZmw/rooster.jpg)
The rooster took its seat once calmed down