Chuck Norris doesn't request clearances, he states intentions.
Chuck Norris is the only person ever to land on runway 37.
Hijackers squawk 7500 when Chuck Norris is on board
Chuck Norris once shot down three enemy aircraft with his aux fuel tank.
Chuck Norris has never landed with a crosswind. The wind would never dare
get cross with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly into headwinds...the wind is always running away
from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris flies, the altimeter setting is 00.00. Chuck Norris is
never under pressure.
Right of Way rules do not apply when Chuck Norris is flying. If you are
flying toward Chuck Norris, you are wrong.
Chuck Norris doesn't shoot approaches...he kills them.
Chuck Norris is never off of glideslope, the glideslope is off of Chuck
Norris
Two way contact for Chuck Norris is when he hits you with both fists
simultaneously
Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier with his Bell X-1 Jet. Chuck Norris
broke the sound barrier with his fist.
Chuck Norris was told to ident, the controller was greeted with a fist
coming out of his radar screen.
Chuck Norris doesn't level off; he tells the altimeter to stop moving
Chuck Norris was once denied a clearance... once
Chuck Norris was flying and saw a wall of clouds ahead so he decided to
punch through them. He then got back in his helicopter and flew through the
hole he just made.
Chuck Norris doesn't have emergencies, only moments of brief excitement.
Chuck Norris cannot be tracked on radar, if he appears, it is too late; you
are already dead.
A good flight for Chuck Norris is a bad flight for you.
A Flight Docs gives med up chits, Chuck Norris gives med down kicks.
Chuck Norris once moved a stationary front.
All survival vests will be fitted with a Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris isn't holding, he is circling above his victims.
Chuck Norris provides close air support via flying round house kicks.
No one knows what Chuck Norris' tail number is, nobody has ever gotten that
close.
Source: http://aviationhumor.net/chuck-norris-pilot-jokes/ (http://aviationhumor.net/chuck-norris-pilot-jokes/)
Hahaha you made my day ;D
LOL. Good one.
Best AirwaySim vs. Chuck Norris joke (or picture) earns 10 Credits. You have 2 days time... 8)
Chuck Norris can schedule aircraft out of Heathrow. Always. Even at 3am. Even 10 years after game world start.
Chuck Norris CAN run an airline with 10-seaters hogging all of the slots in LHR.
In an emergency, Chuck Norris can be used as a floatation device.
Someone trying to take my spot at the completely unofficial aws comedian????
:P
I made it official
[attachment expired]
thinking
[attachment expired]
No snow for him
[attachment expired]
Quote from: swiftus27 on May 03, 2011, 08:50:27 PM
Someone trying to take my spot at the completely unofficial aws comedian????
:P
That explains why I could never take your posts seriously. ;)
Okay... I am going to list all I can think of out:
Chuck Norris is already playing AWS 1.3 and city based demand is amazing (if this one doesn't win, I will be p***ed)
Chuck Norris made the Concorde profitable... flying 100nm domestic flights
Chuck Norris flies all of London's longhaul using A380s out of City Airport.
Chuck Norris burns 15 960 kg / hr
Chuck Norris' livery picture blinded almost 200 users.
Chuck Norris has no turnaround time. He can be in both places at once if he needs to.
Chuck Norris is the third Forum Moderator.
Chuck Norris charges F class for Y class seats.
The last person who tried to build in Chuck Norris' hub is now flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog $hit out of Hong Kong! (man points to who gets this)
Chuck Norris' load factor is 100%. However, no one can handle Chuck Norris' load.
Only Chuck Norris understands Ilyushin's devotion to crappy Soviet aircraft.
Chuck Norris still Magic Carpets any game world he joins... SUCK IT (older players will get this)
The Chuck Norris 100 is also known as CNWTFPWNU
Quote from: JumboShrimp on May 03, 2011, 09:19:53 PM
That explains why I could never take your posts seriously. ;)
If you took that anywhere near personally then I am sorry. It was all meant in jest and honestly, I am jealous that I didnt think of this thread first. I actually circulate these things regarding my work to my teammates at my job. Like Chuck Norris can get XXX approved (I work for a bank...)
Quote from: swiftus27 on May 03, 2011, 11:04:15 PM
Only Chuck Norris understands Ilyushin's devotion to crappy Soviet aircraft.
:D
Thorougly enjoyed those, Swiftus. One of them must be a winner. ;D
Chuck Norris does not need F5. He tells the used market when to refresh, and only after he gets any plane he wants.
Quote from: swiftus27 on May 03, 2011, 11:04:15 PM
The last person who tried to build in Chuck Norris' hub is now flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog $hit out of Hong Kong! (man points to who gets this)
Top Gun.
Here are some of my Chuck Norris one-liners:
Chuck Norris doesn't request features. Features request Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't request features. He edits the source code.
Chuck Norris' iPhone loads his flight planning graphs when he says so.
Chuck Norris moderates Sami.
Chuck Norris flies as many fleet types as he wants. Profitably.
Chuck Norris' airline can fly from Kennedy to LaGuardia.
Air Traffic Controllers don't fall asleep on Chuck Norris' watch.
Chuck Norris has 300 a/c at each base.
At the beginning of a game, Chuck Norris expands faster than Curse.
Chuck Norris has already won the 10 credit prize.
Chuck Norris makes better demotivators than Swiftus.
Chuck Norris doesn't get banned.
Chuck Norris doesn't need slots. He can take off from the gate.
Chuck Norris flies the D228 on the Kangaroo Route. Without a tech stop.
Chuck Norris flies the Mecure TATL.
Chuck Norris already has IFE and meals on his airline.
Chuck Norris knows his competitor's fares.
Chuck Norris has his own alliance. With a 1000 rating.
Chuck Norris can base in as many countries as he wants.
Hope there's a winner in there somewhere :)
Chuck Norris doesn't fly to his destination, he makes his destination come to him.
Guys you're awsome... Keep posting these facts, they're the funny moment of my day on AWS! ;)
Edo
Sami didn't make Airwaysim Chuck Norris allowed him to make it.
Chuck Norris doesn't cringe at fuel prices, the prices cringe.
Chuck Norris can fly out of Mid America with no passengers and make a profit.
Chuck Norris is a fleet type.
Chuck Norris makes DanDantes's airline look like a regional airline.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a loan, loans need him.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a fight crew, he is the flight crew for the while fleet.
Chuck Norris doesn't need employee's to run his airline.
Chuck Norris doesn't taxi for hours at JFK, everyone else taxis around him for hours.
Chuck Norris isn't playing 1.2, or 1.3, he's playing 2.0.
Time resticons do not apply to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't wait for his planes. Planes wait to come to him.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a form thread about him.
Chuck Norris can fly a A-380 from JFK to LHR in 1 hour and even stop in Hong Kong for a hour Dinner.
Chuck Norris can ask more questions then clement ever thought over.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flood routes. He simply asks you to lower your frequency.
Chuck Norris 's airline doesn't need planes to make a profit.
Chuck Norris doesn't pay taxes, taxes pay him.
Chuck Norris planes burn 0 LB of fuel.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a game world to play in. He is the game world.
Chuck Norris taught sigma everything he knows.
Chuck Norris doesn't use the used market, he simply buys them all.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a demotivator to demotivate you. He already demotovaited you.
Quote from: swiftus27 on May 03, 2011, 11:04:15 PM
The last person who tried to build in Chuck Norris' hub is now flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog $hit out of Hong Kong! (man points to who gets this)
This was taken straight out of Top Gun! ;)
Chuck Norris lives in Helsinki, flies for Blue1, and masquerades as a game developer named Sami ;D
Quote from: GoGreenCEO on May 04, 2011, 03:52:51 AM
Chuck Norris lives in Helsinki, flies for Blue1, and masquerades as a game developer named Sami ;D
They didn't ever operaten the A320... I though sami was on them... ???
If it's down to a vote, I pick Swiftus' "1.3 and City Based Demand" ftw
:laugh:
Great show so far guys. Cheers for the responses some were really entertaining.
And good idea for the competition Sami, thanks.
Who is Chunk he's a bug in the bus or a fudge about mud so airbus make it rush with Megabus ?
Who understand this ??? :-\
(Plase don't say WTF !)
Quote from: Jona L. on May 04, 2011, 05:57:39 AM
They didn't ever operaten the A320... I though sami was on them... ???
That was my impression too, which would make him probably fly for Finnair
A bit influence from the last couple days 8)
Chuck Norris doesn't need demand. He creates it.
Chuck Norris doesn't care about true and absolute demands. He doubles them both and gets 4x the passengers.
Best of luck to all of you! :laugh:
Chuck Norris vs AWS, who wins?
AWS wins, Chuck Norris can only take down 19789 people at 1 time.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly. It's the earth that takes a step lower.
Chuck Norris can make A-B-C-B-A routes. With only one landing.
Heathrow runs out of slots. Chuck Norris runs all of these slots.
okay... im an idiot...
[attachment expired]
Quote from: swiftus27 on May 04, 2011, 08:05:36 PM
okay... im an idiot...
Not gonna bother even trying one after that.
Very funny, was waiting for some picture entries.
That was hilarious swiftus
Very good indeed, Swiftus. Well done ;)
And we have a winner!
Id have more fun with these is Sami would add code into the game:
If user = Swiftus27
Then MaxUploadSize = 500kb
Quote from: swiftus27 on May 04, 2011, 09:50:32 PM
Id have more fun with these is Sami would add code into the game:
If user = Swiftus27
Then MaxUploadSize = 500kb
:D
I would just change "Lease expires" from what Switus wrote to:"Whenever he decides to kill you"... The current sentence is not violent enough for Chuck Norris! ;)
Edo
Now there goes the 10 credits...
Hilarious Swiftus!!
Chuck Norris has been on AWS for so long he can remember when swiftus was still called swiftus26.
Chuck Norris has been on AWS for so long he can remember when sami's post count was still in single figures.
Quote from: alexgv1 on May 04, 2011, 11:36:39 PM
Chuck Norris has been on AWS for so long he can remember when swiftus was still called swiftus26.
Chuck Norris has been on AWS for so long he can remember when sami's post count was still in single figures.
Chuck Norris has been on AWS even before the internet was invented.
here's another
[attachment expired]
All the game world calculations for AWS are done by Chuck Norris on a watch calculator. That has a dead battery. And is missing the = button.
Chuck Norris's AWS airline doesn't have a livery, they just have a goatee on the radome and steel-cap boots instead of landing gear.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Route Strategy department, just a staff of undertakers following him around to clean up.
Chuck Norris uses 787s in The Jet Age games.
Chuck Norris can join the Demo game as many times as he likes.
Chuck Norris Airways consists of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking you so hard, you land at your destination.
Chuck Norris has chosen swiftus27, RushmoreAir and Bolier Dweller to live another day with 10Cr...
which lines won?
Quote from: sami on May 05, 2011, 09:58:58 AM
Chuck Norris has chosen swiftus27, RushmoreAir and Bolier Dweller to live another day with 10Cr...
Sami, when you have time you should fit the feature "I like it" even on this forum! ;)
Edo
Quote from: sami on May 05, 2011, 09:58:58 AM
Chuck Norris has chosen swiftus27, RushmoreAir and Bolier Dweller to live another day with 10Cr...
Once again Chuck Norris is unbeatable in every field. Even when it comes to justice
Quote from: Jona L. on May 05, 2011, 10:01:26 AM
which lines won?
I'd say it's pretty hard to pick just one line from their work - it's the entirety of them that is the best line ::) :laugh:
Quote from: swiftus27 on May 04, 2011, 08:05:36 PM
okay... im an idiot...
;D ;D
edit: That picture was really amazing
Slovaks vote to name bridge Chuck Norris
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/feb/23/slovaks-bridge-chuck-norris
Update on the Chuck Norris Bridge:
Apparently in Slovakia, things like bridges or geographical features can only be named after people who are no longer alive. And since Chuck Norris can never die or be killed, he will probably be disqualified...
Whitney Houston made fun of Chuck Norris 3 weeks ago.
Too soon?
Quote from: swiftus27 on February 24, 2012, 05:27:45 PM
Whitney Houston made fun of Chuck Norris 3 weeks ago.
Too soon?
No one makes a fun of Chuck Norris and lives...
(Yeah, probably too soon...)
Chuck Norris doesn't fear frequency.
Chuck Norris gets a CI of 100 with leaflets/flyers
Chuck Norris flies Domestic out of Narita.
Chuck Norris gets 14 phone calls per week to the used market. If he calls a 15th time, then he gets 15 calls per week.
Chuck Norris uses Heathrow as a refuelling hub.
:laugh:
This message has too many smileys. Please reduce the number of smileys
Chuck Norris frequency blasts 757s with A380s
Chuck Norris once ran the world's largest airline out of St Marys
At Chuck Norris's hub, pax transfer their flights mid air.
Loving the revive guys.... getting plenty of chuckles my end :laugh:
You don't play Airwaysim Chuck Norris plays it for you.
Sami did't create Airwaysim Chuck Norris gave him the idea.
Chuck Norris once had a fleet of Grand Caravan's....need i say more?
You do not own slots, Chuck Norris lets you use his.
Time Zones? Chuck Norris doesn't use them.
Time restrictions? Chuck Norris makes them.
Ever wander what happen to those good planes on the used markets went? Chuck Norris leased them all in on click.
He controls every slot at LHR.
He think's production lines are for cars.
He makes a 8 hour flight turn into 5 minutes.
He allows you to lease junk aircraft on the used market.
HE IS......wait for it....Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris Once flew a Twin Otter across the Atlantic and made a profit.
Quote from: Boiler Dweller on January 02, 1970, 12:56:51 PM
Chuck Norris Once flew a Twin Otter across the Atlantic and made a profit.
With no passengers.
I literally just made these up.
Chuck Norris is Bravo Airspace
Chuck Norris creates the weather so he has no need for ATIS
Planes are now going to be installed with NCAS (Norris Collision Avoidance System)
Chuck Norris never needs flight following. He always lands where he intends to.
Chuck Norris needs more LEFT rudder.
Cloud separation laws exist so you don't accidentally run into Chuck Norris..... for your protection only.
Chuck Norris flies a VTOL A380.
Quote from: swiftus27 on February 28, 2012, 09:32:23 PM
Planes are now going to be installed with NCAS (Norris Collision Avoidance System)
Which is futile, since you cannot avoid Chuck Norris, obviously.
Chuck Norris will only uses and always succeeds with the B747SP
Chuck Norris grounds volcanic ash clouds
Chuck Norris spends no money on fuel, he simply roundhouse kicks his passengers to their destination.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly anywhere, he jumps and the earth rotates below him
(I have a feeling I might have seen the bottom two elsewhere)
Chuck Norris has a long haul base at London City.
Chuck Norris can actually break the WTFUBER757 Frequency tactic for trans atlantic.
Chuck Norris had a fleet of Comets that were too afraid to crash
Even Chuck Norris wonders what happened to the Star Alliance
Chuck Norris once mad a small prop airline profitable in AWS, with only one DC-3, in 2003.
Chuck Norris Is a Type Rating.
Chuck Norris doesn't do 7 day scheduling, he does 8 day.
If Chuck Norris want's to fly in P-56 Territory he can.
Chuck Norris never declarers a emergency.
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris name is a one liner.
Chuck Norris doesn't spam the used market, the used market automatically delivers him a constant flow of aircraft.
Chuck Norris once had a fight against two A340s, and thus the A380 was born.
The EU is on Chuck Norris's list of banned carriers.
Quote from: DaveP1991 on February 29, 2012, 02:19:32 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't spam the used market, the used market automatically delivers him a constant flow of aircraft.
Chuck Norris once had a fight against two A340s, and thus the A380 was born.
The EU is on Chuck Norris's list of banned carriers.
I wondered how airbus got the idea! Thank you Chuck!
Chuck Norris can profitably fly the Wright flyer trans-pacific... With hundreds passengers... in two hours
Chuck Norris can dogfight with an A380 and win against a Eurofighter.
Chuck Norris is immortal, the 737 is seemingly immortal, is the 737 Chuck Norris?
Just my lines!
regards,
NC
This one is topical:
This fully explains why I am so amazing at AWS (complete joke)
Quote from: swiftus27 on March 23, 2012, 10:56:24 PM
This one is topical:
This fully explains why I am so amazing at AWS (complete joke)
LOL. That button (Remove Mentor), I would not be clicking it if I were you. You never know how Chuck would take it...
Quote from: JumboShrimp on March 23, 2012, 11:59:11 PM
LOL. That button (Remove Mentor), I would not be clicking it if I were you. You never know how Chuck would take it...
+ With Chuck you'll win with a Piper PA on a 4000NM route versus an A333 because you can carry 10x as many pax!!
Quote from: JumboShrimp on March 23, 2012, 11:59:11 PM
LOL. That button (Remove Mentor), I would not be clicking it if I were you. You never know how Chuck would take it...
If you went through the interview process, you would know this to be 100% true.
I still wake up at nights in fear that he is going to kill me.... Only to wake up and find a note on my mirror that reads "If I really wanted to kill you, you'd never know it was coming".
Quote from: swiftus27 on March 23, 2012, 10:56:24 PM
This one is topical:
This fully explains why I am so amazing at AWS (complete joke)
"Cause the eyes of the ranger are upon you! Everything you do he's gonna see. If you're on AWS look behind you! Cause that's where the ranger's...gonna be!"....
sami is chuck norris
Chuck Norris doesn't get sunburned. The sun gets Chuckburned
Chuck Norris is already flying Cargo in AWS
problem with passenger demand is if Chuck Norris makes a route everone else goes to 0% LF.
Chuck Norris does not like you talking about him.
Quote from: Chuck Norris on July 11, 2012, 02:35:41 AM
Chuck Norris does not like you talking about him.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
This message has too many smileys. Please reduce the number of smileys.
Chuck Norris Airlines uses F27's into Heathrow and Narrow Bodies with tech stops across the pond, and Jona doesn't say a word.
Quote from: Kadachiman on July 13, 2012, 06:45:23 AM
Chuck Norris Airlines uses F27's into Heathrow and Narrow Bodies with tech stops across the pond, and Jona doesn't say a word.
(https://www.airwaysim.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.uslanmam.com%2Fattachments%2Fonline-oyunlar%2F65933d1334576277-league-legends-champion-tavsiyesi-impossibru-1287339853.jpg&hash=15d486fa0f91381ab704228d0c975f8a2bb5a27b)
nuf said ;)
Quote from: JetWestInc on July 11, 2012, 02:35:41 AM
Chuck Norris does not like you talking about him.
Chuck Norris doesn't like impersonators :P
Quote from: alexgv1 on July 13, 2012, 11:56:30 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't like impersonators :P
Chuck Norris came to my house in the night, did some cool ninja sh!t to get in, and proceeded to beat his identity out of me. Just kidding, he just looked at me, I cowered in fear, and changed my name back :laugh:
Quote from: JetWestInc on July 13, 2012, 12:06:53 PM
Chuck Norris came to my house in the night, did some cool ninja sh!t to get in, and proceeded to beat his identity out of me. Just kidding, he just looked at me, I cowered in fear, and changed my name back :laugh:
Hehehe :D
Quote from: Kadachiman on July 13, 2012, 06:45:23 AM
Chuck Norris Airlines uses F27's into Heathrow and Narrow Bodies with tech stops across the pond, and Jona doesn't say a word.
LOLOLOL
I would not dare say anything against him,
his F27 are a lot faster than my CONCs anyways :P