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Author Topic: Largely Reliable disputes concerns over safety record  (Read 481 times)

Largely Reliable disputes concerns over safety record
« on: February 15, 2022, 08:42:45 PM »
NEW YORK CITY, LARGELY RELIABLE HEADQUARTERS
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
26th June 2001

After recent accusations from competitors of Largely Reliable having a 'questionable' safety record, which went so far as to describe our superb airline as 'dangerous', 'reckless', and 'in clear violation of almost all safety regulations', we wish to reassure our customers that these claims are completely incorrect.

Our flights have in excess of a 98% survival rate and more than a 90% chance of aircraft arriving at the intended destination airport on first attempt. With such a strong safety record, we feel it important to stress a few clear facts;
  • It's really only old planes that tend to crash anyway. And we've not got many of those. Well, not anymore.
  • Excessive 'safety' regulations infringe our constitutional rights and place an unfair burden on our business. We staunchly oppose living in fear by spending huge amounts of money to maybe prevent a possible issue. Worse than taxes.
  • Aircraft maintenance is probably dangerous anyway. Why go into a perfectly decent, functioning plane and mess with the parts? It's a finely tuned, balanced system and adding or changing things that aren't meant to be there is a recipe for disaster. The natural state of the plane, as it came along at first, is obviously best.
We'd also like to announce that going forward, customers will be able to arrange to purchase life insurance from one of our partner companies within all of our base airports, now with a 10% discount on your first month1!

Fly reliably. Mostly. Fly Largely Reliable. We'll probably get you there!

1. Life insurance policies do not cover loss of life or life-changing injuries due to aviation-related incidents.

 

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