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Author Topic: Chupacabra Responds to Texas Toast with Single Word: FIESTA!  (Read 92 times)

Offline NaanViolence

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July 8, 1956 - Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón Flight Lounge of the People, Mexico City

For Immediate Release

Air Chupacabra strongly condemns the absurd insinuations of Texas Toast Airlines. As Mexico’s leading airline, we have a one-word response to our gluten filled Yanqui Pig oppressors to the Norte, as they say in Spanish. That word, is: Fiesta!!!!  From now until the first city is built on the moon (which we estimate to be 2006) we will be adding two more Texas “T’s” to our inflight service and acknowledge that our Hari Krishna-led vegan prayer service left something to be desired for our valued customers. Starting next year, tortilla chips will replace peanuts on all flights in North America.  For our customers on long haul flights we will be offering a bottle of tequila in our most affordable “People’s Class” seating and Tijuana quaaludes in our “Sean Penn and Other Rich Leftists Who Love Socialism While Being Millionaires Class.”  Please remember when boarding that while all of us are equal, some of us are more equal than others.

“Nobody tells this Burr how to party.  Go suck on some croutons and sling more kolache, Lorenzo.  I say this with all the love and understanding that can be found in this multiverse and the adjacent ones”, remarked Don Burr, CEO of Chupacabra.

There is something mysterious in the air. Fly Chupacabra today!


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