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Author Topic: Texas Toast Introduces "My First Class Is Better Than Your First Class" Class  (Read 44 times)

Offline Jetsetter

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August 22, 1955 - PANCHITOS COCKTAIL LOUNGE, LOVE FIELD, DALLAS, TEXAS
For Immediate Release

Texas Toast by Frank Lorenzo is grilling up the latest in decadent capitalist innovations to the front of their airplanes with the introduction of 'My First Class Is Better Than Your First Class" Class, a move aimed to squarely roundhouse the Commies in their nutmegs.

Featuring lavish adornments including a padded seat, tray table, and ashtray, travelers can revel like never before as the navigate the twisty Texas turbulence toting tequila tasters to terrafirma in Tampico. Some passengers can also partake in an exotic new development set to revolutionize air travel, as they stare out of a pane of plexiglass onto the plain plains below the plane*.

CEO Jetsetter noted "The first class thing is a total crock of silly slippers. The schmucks pay more, but the plane ends up going to the same place as the cattle in the back. Also, don't put that in the press release, I'm drunk."

'My First Class Is Better Than Your First Class' Class is now available on all Texas Toast flights, except those originating in Texas.


*Windows available in selected seats only.

 

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