Following allegations elite members have been flying Tigers in their holds, Newfoundland Airlines wanted to state categorically they do not and have not carried any on their planes.
"I can be 100% sure no native tigers have traveled on our aircraft. That is because I was in the expedition that killed the last Caspian Tiger in the 1950's. Ain't got none, can't carry none".
Despite this assurance, the CEO made no mention about other endangered mammals in his country, such as the Baluchistan bear, Asiatic cheetah, Caspian seal, Persian fallow deer, Persian leopard and Caspian Sea wolf.
Instead, when pressed into answering about these species, the CEO changed the subject, and tried to sell our reporter some rugs. They were a great buy, so we bought eight and our office now looks awesome. What was the question again? Oh we forgot. Well, Newfoundland Airlines are great anyway.