Heartland has shown its Heartless side by dumping thousands of innocent victims of their hugging policy onto the tarmac of GSW!!
"it was incredible, they didn't even turn off their engines as they dumped passengers out of the airplane doors!" One witness exclaimed.
In response to the activities of Heartland, the CDC has sought and gained approval of additional funding from the U.S. Congress for a new state of the art quarantine facility at GSW airport. This has in turn triggered an IRS audit of Heartland as the cash strapped federal government scrambles to fund a facility caused by the irresponsible behavior of Heartland.
All this as another outbreak of another exotic disease terrorized the good citizens of Chicago. An Asian Bird Flu strand identified as originating in Singapore was imported via Japan all through Phoenix alliance associated airlines. The mayor of Chicago was heard to exclaim "When will it all end! Heartland thinks O'Hare is a petri dish for their personal use!!"
In a related story, a prison riot broke out at the Chicago City Jail when Illinois state revenue agents showed up for "Friday Night Follies" wanting to collect taxes from the purchase of Heartland stewardess uniforms acquired by the sex offender population.