We at Spanish Airlines are always looking to go above and beyond the airline world and finding solutions to daily problems. On our latest trip to the used market in the Mojave Desert we noticed that CEOs from across the world have been doing something never seen before. They have moved to the Used Market. We saw tents as far as the eye could see (seen below) with all waiting for that one 737 to land on the runway. One CEO was even killed because he tryed to grab the plane before it came to a complete stop on the runway. Other CEOs have resorted to bringing machetes to ward off crowds of CEOs when the plane parks. Being a typical money-craving selfish CEO and having equally selfish management, we have proposed the Used Market Resort.
This will be full-fledged 5-star resort. The resort will have exactly 500 rooms and 1000 more rooms* all with high-speed internet, 42" LCD HDTV's, a king sized bed, and full kitchenette and living area. Each room will have a runway side view with binoculars in everyroom. On special rooms, high-powered telescopes will be available. The rooms will also have a water/food injection system so you don't have to leave the window. The window also features an automatic shaving device and showering device so you can stay on the window for prolonged periods of time**. The rooms will also feature a full automatic answering machine when your wife/husband/notifier-of-dead-relative/children/or money-laundering agent calls so you don't have to deal with them. Because after all, they aren't important. For investment of the new resort just sign a contract to pay 2% of your airlines revenue into my Swiss bank account for the next 15 years.
Thank you, and with your help, we can make my wallet, a bigger place.
*undersized bathrooms for management to sleep in.
**53 days at a time